My most humble apologies, Mesdames and Messieurs for the inordinate length of time it has taken to post the next chapter in our saga. I can only hope that it is worth the wait. Our ongoing "presentations" sap much of my energies but have been well-received by you, our generous patrons, and by the press - although they seem to believe that it is some sort of theatricale rather than the factual (though unconventional) account it is.  Be that as it may, we remain grateful for their attention.  Links to the articles can be found in the sidebar to your right.

I will not waste your time further with banter and bon mots but tell you that the first part of LaSalada, stripped of its viral memes (more on that later), is available for viewing on the LaSalada page.  Chapter 3 of the illustrated account of the expedition has been posted on The Hunt and links and materials related my endeavors, accomplishments and research have been added to the Of Interest page.

Now, by all means, read on and feel free to offer commentary, criticism or accounts of your own speculations, researches and/or experiences here.

With regard to comments, it has recently come to my attention that certain parties have alleged that the Explorers appearing in the course of our Exhibitions are not in fact the Explorers who embarked upon the Expedition but rather some sort of Simulacra or Apparitions.  And, further, that the actual Explorers suffered some sort of mishap either in the Automatic Wasteland or shortly after their return. I tell you now that this is absurd and simply not the truth.  The Explorers themselves would tell you if they did not choose to remain in isolation between the presentations in order to escape the Pressures of Celebrity and insulate their still-recovering Psyches. Let this be the Last Word on that subject.

- ffb

I have been miserly in my offerings to this website because I have been concerned that, if the facts are baldly stated, you will dismiss me as a crank and a loon; that I will stretch your credulity past the breaking point with no hope of winning it back.

An Automatic Lizard

I had hoped to lead you along the path of discovery, as I myself was led, with a glimpse here and a tidbit there. I see now that this was the wrong approach and instead of provoking curiosity I have only added confusion.

So let me put it plainly.  Some time ago, I dispatched an expedition to a parallel world in hopes of recovering a very special motion picture known as LaSalada . The expedition was a success in that the film was recovered, along with a variety of other highly unusual artifacts. Many of these curiosities and wonders will be exhibited as a part of a presentation by Pink Toupee Collective and myself (see details at right).

In the Mainspring

Furthermore, on this parallel world my expedition discovered the remains of a once-great civilization apparently built and populated by mechanical clockwork automata. Not electronic robots as one might find in science fiction but sentient, intelligent creatures constructed of tremendously complex assemblies of brass gears, cogs, levers, ratchets, springs and a very special crystal. Unfortunately it appears that this Clockwork Civilization was destroyed in a terrible civil war, leaving behind an area of devastation I have termed the Automatic Wasteland.

There you have it, if you have troubled to read this far. A story that is as true as it is outrageous. I cannot ask you to believe me but only offer in these pages evidence of my discoveries in the hope that you will at least consider it a possibility that there are worlds and wonders congruent with our own and available to us if we can but find the door and the key.

- ffb

.What's New

The second chapter in the chronicle of the expedition to the Automatic Wasteland features profiles of the explorers. In addition, more fontaineographs of that mysterious realm have been added.

Two more artifacts have been added to the Gallery.

I am Franc Fontaine-Bleu and I have wonders for you to behold. I would like to share these marvels with you and explain how and where I came across them. If your curiosity is piqued you may join me, beginning on April 17, at The Ooley Theatre, under the sponsorship of Pink Toupee Collective, where I will present my discoveries in exhibition.

Meanwhile, here, on each page I invite you to share in various aspects of my enterprise. Learn about the hunt for that legendary relic of the cinema, LaSalada. View some of the other artifacts, relics and antiquities recovered in my travels. Read and contribute to the articles and commentaries that support the truth of my adventures. In the next several weeks I will be adding more materials to this site, breadcrumbs to lead you, as I was lead, down the path of a remarkable discovery.

No matter what you may think, all that I tell you is true! But if it serves as merely an entertainment, a distraction from a world of cares and woes, that is suitable as well. Explore, question, comment and, by all means, return for more.

- franc fontaine-bleu